A Day in the Food Life: Life of Dad

Today we are debuting a new series of food journals from our favorite bloggers called A Day in the Food Life. Our guest bloggers will share what they ate and drank for one whole day because what better way to get to know a person than by what they REALLY eat? Our debut blogger is my cousin-in-law Tom Riles. He’s a comedian, husband and dad extraordinaire. He has the coolest comedy job ever, warming up the audience everyday for The Ellen Show! Check out his hysterical site Life of Dad for a first-hand account of fatherhood, it will make you giggle. Thanks Tom!

Life of Dad  –  Chow Time

I’m a dad to an nine month old baby girl.  Her name is Babs.  She eats sweet potatoes, pears, apples, carrots, and milk.  I need more than that to survive.  Some celebrities go on baby food diets.  I’m not a celebrity, so I eat adult food.  Here is my running diary of what I ate yesterday.  Thank you Apples and Onions for giving me the chance to finally share this with the world.

6AM

Substance:  Orange Juice

Explanation:  I’m usually up pretty early, and need something that destroys my overnight bad breath.  Orange juice is the answer.  I love pulp.  Baby Babs should be waking up in about an hour.

6:30AM

Substance:  Coffee

Explanation:  My eyes were still shut, and coffee makes me happy and awake.

7AM

Substance:  Granola, strawberry/banana yogurt, and a banana on top.

Explanation:  Granola is awesome whether it is a bar or a cereal.  Yoplait yogurt was 10 for $5 at Ralph’s grocery store.  Bananas = 19 cents at Trader Joes.  I ate this combination out of a coffee mug, which watching the baby monitor.

7:15AM

Substance:  Ice Water

Explanation:  I was thirsty.  Coffee dehydrates.  Baby Babs is awake!

9AM

Substance:  Cool water (used to be ice water)

Explanation:  Just because.  I started feeding Baby Babs apples and prunes.  That would be a good name for a website!

11:15AM

Substance:  Chewy Quaker Chocolate Granola Bar

Explanation:  I’ve had more granola than usual today.  And I like it.

11:16AM

Substance:  Luke Warm Water (used to be cool water)

Explanation:  I needed to wash down the granola.

12:05PM

Substance:  Salad with grilled chicken, peppers, tomatoes, oil, and vinegar

Explanation:  This is not my normal lunch.  Somehow today, all of the stars aligned, and this dream meal became a reality.  My wife made the salad last night, and I grilled chicken two nights ago.  Today the salad and chicken came together magnificently.

12:15PM

Substance:  Toothpaste/Water Combination

Explanation:  While brushing my teeth, I mistakenly swallowed a Crest/saliva/tap water mix.  Baby Babs just attempted to eat her stroller.

2:55PM

Substance:  Trail Mix

Explanation:  I work at Ellen, and we always have incredible craft services.  I try to lean towards the healthy stuff, so it was a trail mix pick me up before the show.  Then I watched 300 middle-aged women scream wildly for Justin Bieber.

5:43PM

Substance:  Chocolate Chip and Oatmeal Cookies

Explanation:  I had two of them at home, while feeding my daughter a combination of peas and bananas.  I kind of felt bad.

7:15PM

Substance:  Trader Joe’s Orange Chicken and Rice, and a Miller Lite (can)

Explanation:  After the baby went to sleep for the night, I prepared this favorite meal of mine.  I decided to bake the chicken instead of fry it, cutting down on unhealthiness.  It was fantastic, as always.  The beer washed the food down perfectly.

8:42PM

Substance:  Manhattan (one part whiskey, two parts sweet vermouth)

Explanation:  A tradition in my wife’s family, I have now fallen in love with this drink.  I have started to realize though, that these put me to sleep.  When I know I’ll be crashing in the next hour or so, and I want a stiff drink, I’ll have a manhattan.  This stuff works better than NyQuil.

10:05PM

Substance:  Ice Water

Explanation:  After brushing my teeth before bed, I had a glass of water.  Then I dreamt of orange chicken all night long.